3/28/11 Two weeks, two months, and enduring friendships.

Two weeks have passed since the end of chemo II.  I am feeling better and have discovered that strongly flavored and even spicy food, partly supported by strong and flavorful drinks, is the solution to this time’s recovery of appetite, which I did not have at all for a full 8 days.  

Point in fact was the visit by long-term friend Troy Baird (more on this below).  Over his three days here we knocked back Mexican food, Italian sausage sandwiches, and Lox with crème cheese and onion on an onion bagel.   Each of these feeds was supplemented with lubrications in the form of margaritas, Chianti, and coffee and iced tea.  The clincher in this now is that liberal use of the spices and hot mustard served with already spicy Szechuan dishes at PF Chang’s allowed me to eat more than I had for two weeks.   And, last night found me loading extra hot sauce and pepper flakes on a dish of curry… all of this writing is making me interested in going to our fridge now at 4 am.   

My family remains highly supportive and I continue to get emails and cards from friends around the world.  My son Jeff followed through his non-stop hospital support by giving me the ten day run of white cell booster shots.  He and daughters Wendy and Erin check on me regularly and I see all of the gkids more than once a week.  Sleeping remains a problem as witnessed by this 4 am writing period… two hours after taking a sleeping pill. 

It was two months to the day since I was in there for the first survey that showed 4 tumors and yesterday, 3/28, found me back in the PETscan.   Now we wait to learn how the “rubber has met the road” insofar as the efficacy of the two Chemo runs on the size of these tumors.   Rational thought and blind hope makes me expect that Chemo has knocked them back.    That would be the best result we could hear next Wednesday April 6^th.  

So, we hope for the best and prepare at the same time for news that would not be so happy.   The psychology of the clinic is that such results are given in person and at the start of the next scheduled chemo session. This way there will be no time to brood about less than ideal findings… rather we get right to work on the next strategy at hand. And, once the session begins one thinks very little beyond the next hour; other than the a clear focus on the day and approximate time it will end.   

Thus, this is now out of my hands and there is nothing I can do…. (short of getting less sun over the past 60 years) about the PET findings other than learn what they are.   In that regard, sun screen, seat belts, and non-smoking are all preventive measures that will add to the survival of my kids and gkids and that is progress.   

“We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed.  As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.”  So it is when friendships form and so it is that kindnesses continue to come after the hearts are long full. (James Boswell, 1778)  Troy Baird, a friend since the late 70’s flew out from Oklahoma to spend the weekend with me.  He and I worked together at San Diego State and when I first went to Scripps he came in nearly every day to do research with me in the early 80’s.   He finished his MS at SDSU and his PhD at U. British Columbia before obtaining a faculty position in biology at U. Central Oklahoma over 20 years back.  So, on Thursday night he flew to SD to see me for three days and this was an orgy of eating and drinking and conversation. Friday we hooked up with Bill Lowell and Fred Koerhn… also from the SDSU days…  for lunch I couldn't taste the Mexican food  chile relleno con salsa.... but I could taste my share of the three pitchers of margaritas.   On Sat Troy visited three ball fields with me to watch gkids Nolan, Hailey, and Dylan play.  Then we took in the Cinemax film of tornados… Oklahomans love that subject… and then were down at Filippis in Little Italy.  My combo meatball and Italian sandwich tasted a little dirty.  But I could savor the anchovies in our antipasto salad and nothing several glasses of Chianti to wash everything down.  Sunday....  DZ Akins, renowned Jewish deli near my house... nothing like Lox and creme cheese with sliced tomato and Bermuda onion....  with lots of pepper on top.... washed down by coffee. I rode down to the airport with Troy and said our goodbyes there.. and I made my way home via taxi and trolley.  

Imagine, in the middle of teaching over a long semester, climbing on a plane to visit a sick friend and staying for three days…  Troy and I covered lots of topics in our conversations including his recent work on lizards in Australia and stuff going on in my lab. We also covered lots of ground.    Just as when Roger and Bob had flown in for a weekend three weeks ago, this was a unselfish expression of the importance of one person to another that is based on the aggregate sum of sharing and insight that comes from discussions and common interests and many years of being close and sharing good times.  

I feel exceptionally fortunate to have these three close friends and several others just as close; these people really know me and care deeply.   Each of them knows that my talks with them takes my mind off the other reality and I am reminded that I like being a friend, remembering the past, and taking these guys to the lab to meet the students….  I like all of this better than being a patient.    

So, we push ahead together ready to deal with the findings on 4/6.    jbg